This year. Oh, this year. I’ve seen and felt things that I’ve never thought possible. Looking back, in January I was standing in the aftermath of putting all my dirty laundry out for the world to see. I published “The … Continue reading
That is my car that is currently un-drivable after an accident yesterday
I have got to be honest. These past couple of days have been so trying and exhausting. I haven’t even processed it all. So many things have gone so far south that I sit down and think that this can’t actually be my life. I have questioned God more times than I can count. I’ve lost sight of His promises in the face of all these issues that have decided to sprout up without warning.
However, tonight with Jesus there were no questions, no complaints, just taking the time to sit in His presence. I realized, that all He wanted was for me to just sit and be. Be with Him in our secret place, and let him pour out His love, grace, peace, and mercy. I have been praying/longing for more of Him, and as my longing has been met day by day I can’t help but rejoice in the face of my adversity. The thing that has been trying to drag me down only forced me to lay at the feet of my Savior. To me there is nothing sweeter than that, and I would walk through all of my troubles a hundred times over to just remain at His feet and simply be in His presence.
I’ve felt a little restless lately. I just knew something was right, and it hasn’t been right for some time.
These past couple of weeks as reality and life have hit me hard I’ve realized that this fire in me has dimmed.
I feel it. My life has begun to echo its hollowness, and it needs to change. Today.
My prayer is that God kindles a fire in me like never before.
Let this fire be insatiable; overwhelming in all of it power.
Let this fire be sweet; encompassing me in a grace that calls me home into Your arms.
Let this fire be passionate; pursuing me in the darkness and carrying me back to safety.
Let this fire be limitless; pushing me out of my comfort zone, and calling me to places I’ve never ventured.
Let this fire be gentle; as it smothers me in love that fills every aching need.
Let this fire abound; not stopping with me, but consuming others in my life.
Let this fire be unquenchable; as I hunger and thirst for more of Your presence.
Let this fire blaze; refining me into the woman you have called me to be.
Let this fire be found in me.
Let my life catch flame and speak volumes of Your tender mercies and majestic glory.
For our “God is a consuming fire.” – Hebrews 12:29
A new season. A fresh anointing. The sun is beginning to rise over days I never imagined.
BUT no one warned me about the fear that would try to cripple me.
The fear of failure and the comfort of complacently has dragged me down. This process of discovering the new season of my life has not been an easy walk. It has caused me to take note of the things that I need to work on and things to let go of. It has been difficult, but extremely humbling. I realize now that as I have walked through the lonely corridor of introspection, that God has been gently molding and preparing me for whats to come.
I have found hope in dwelling on what He has done. He called me to LSU to experience the Holy Spirit on a whole new level. He called me back home in the midst of my brokenness to build up my faith. He sent me to Haiti (TWICE!) to fulfill a promise and reawaken a dormant dream. He has placed me at Lakewood Church to serve; to pour into my church as much as it has poured into me. And now as He is calling me into leadership I realize that all along He has prepared me for such a time as this.
Fear has tried so hard to take away my joy. It’s crazy because the voice of failure has never been so loud and the sting of rejection has never been this sharp. However, Jesus has been as faithful as ever. Quickly refuting the lies with truth. Filling me with a double measure of joy and peace. He has given me the confidence to step into my new season. To taste and see of His goodness.
So, here’s to a new season.
A fresh anointing.
A fresh perspective.
A new song.
Mornings are usually easy, but this morning I was burdened. You know when you go to sleep with too many thoughts in your head and all throughout the night you wrestle with them. That was me. I went to sleep with stories of war, death, and execution ringing in my ears. And at the same time trying to comprehend all the breakthrough, joy, and peace that I have witnessed. My heart is heavy for the injustice that is happening around the world, and it begs for God’s justice to prevail. But throughout it all the faithfulness of God knows no bounds. In the midst of a chaotic world I am able to see God moving in ways I’ve never seen. He is calling His children to Him, and raising up a generation that will refuse to be silent. He is encountering His children and reminding them of a love that never runs dry. Isaiah 61.
The day I left for Haiti was rough. I left my phone at the Houston airport, I had an 10 hour layover in MIA, once in Haiti I didn’t have any cash to pay the new tourist fee, and then … Continue reading
These last few weeks have been absolutely amazing. From getting a new job, to running around Houston, to just sitting here writing this blog. God has been so prevalent and patient in this life of mine.
Last week, I knew my confirmation had come. I was able to talk to one of the little boys in the I’mMe house. He shared with me all that he has been doing, but quickly the conversation turned into him asking me when I was coming back. I honestly didn’t have an answer for him in that moment. I said soon, and waited for the moment to pass. I kept thinking I couldn’t possibly go, my car just broke down, I get paid well but I’m only working part-time, and I just went! But as our conversation ended I felt something stir in me. I knew I was going soon, real soon. I continued to pray and asked God for another confirmation. So, the next day I asked my job would I be able to have that week off, and they approved it in a heartbeat. They were even supportive and told me to take a lot of sunscreen!
Here I am now, in almost the same situation I was in a few months ago. I am still not the biggest fan of fundraising, but I know God will provide in miraculous ways like He did before!
This trip is a few days longer than the last. I will be in Haiti from July 25-31. The cost of the trip is $1600 and will cover my flights, accommodations, and meals. I can’t wait to be back there and continue to build relationships with all the amazing people who I met on my last trip. If you would like to give you can click on the “donate” tab in the menu bar or click this link:
If you are moved to give I cannot thank you enough! Your support encourages me and makes me realize that I am not in this process alone. If I can do anything like babysit, wash a car, or any odd job let me know! I am more than willing to work. Even if you want to talk about Haiti and all that’s been going on, let me know. I would love to connect and tell you my heart. Also, please pray for I’mMe as God continues to expand the organization and that I continue to have peace as I continue my journey to Haiti. I am amazed at what God is doing in my life and in Haiti. I can’t wait to be there and just soak up all the love and joy!
If you would like to read my earlier posts about Haiti, click here.
To learn more about I’mMe visit their website: imme.org
God is doing amazing things in Haiti!
Currently, I’mMe, the organization I went to Haiti with, is raising support for an after school program in Meyotte, Haiti. The program is set up to cultivate “the identity, creativity, and passion of kids in Meyotte.” During my time in Haiti the program was a weekly educational session, but as I’mMe has grown in favor with the community they are ready to plant a permanent after school program.
If you would like to help click the link below! No amount is too small. Also, keep I’mMe in your prayers are they go from glory to glory!
At the beginning of the year I never would have thought I would be where I am today. All my plans got trashed, but God brought in plans that have flooded my life with so much light. I am learning … Continue reading
My time in Haiti can’t be contained in a few words. These words will only scratch the surface of what I truly experienced and felt.
Going into this trip I was expectant. God provided like only He could, and Haiti couldn’t come fast enough.
Throughout the trip I was so full. I was walking the streets of Haiti feeling like I was on top of the world. I was living and breathing a dream that God had planted in my heart less than a year ago. I was ready for whatever God was going to teach me. For real, I was “jumping up and down clapping my hands eyes squinted closed” ready. No matter how many times I look back and try to convince myself how ready I was; I wasn’t.
I wasn’t ready to see a little girl pick up vitamins of the dirty ground and stuff them in her mouth. I wasn’t ready for a little boy to repeatedly asking me for my shoes. I wasn’t ready to hear the stories of how parents have abandoned their children.
I definitely wasn’t ready to have my heart shattered while holding a little baby boy in a mountain village. I saw him sitting alone in front of a little cottage. He had dirt caked on the side of his head, and I went to wipe it off. I sat next to him and eventually pulled him into my arms. The whole time he was giving me the side eye, not trusting me, but not resisting me either. I was walking with him in my arms and a woman on my team; Beth, prayed over him. As she prayed I felt something shift. I can’t explain it honestly, because what happened the few minutes after have changed life as I know it. I began crying and praying over the little one who thankfully fell asleep. I wanted to hold him as close to me as possible. I wanted to somehow memorize his face and I wanted him to leave an imprint of his little body in my arms so I would never forget this moment. Still crying I found a shady spot to just hold him and take it all in. I cried for this baby boy who I’m sure was malnourished. I cried because I felt like I had been snatched up in the air by my ankles, and shaken out. In those few minutes holding this sweet boy I realized that all the things I wanted in this life didn’t matter. Going back to a four-year university, getting married, and making all the money in the world paled in comparison to just staring, holding, and praying for this sleeping baby in my arms.
It was in that tender moment that I knew why God had me go to Haiti. I have found my purpose, I have felt my calling, and I have found my joy.
Everyday of this whole trip I saw brokenness, but in the midst of it all my eyes were opened to the beauty. The beauty of hills that seem to cascade over each other while the clouds settled among them. The beauty plastered on the children’s faces as we danced and laughed to nothing in particular. The beauty in the quiet moments rocking a little girl to sleep on the patio. The beauty in just being completely free in worship and singing to my Savior. The beauty that shines from the eyes of those passionate about Haiti. The beauty in watching the people I got to experience Haiti with take it all in and store each experience in their hearts. There is an undeniable beauty on this island that I want everyone I love to experience too. I am blessed.
I’mMe. Thank you. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to experience Haiti with you all. I have never seen or felt so much love and truth in one home. There is a sense of authenticity and transparency that sets I’mMe apart from the others. I pray that the Lord continues to bless you as He takes you higher and higher. He is enlarging your vision, and He is faithful to complete each and every one of His promises that He has laid on each of your hearts. I am “try not to pee my pants” excited to see where God is taking I’mMe!
Haiti. The place where I experienced Jesus like never before. I can’t wait to touch your soil again, to be among your people. I carry you in me, Haiti. Your land holds beauty uncommon to the human eye. I am glad I got to see a glimpse of that beauty. I will be back soon. I can’t stay away.
“They will be called the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord, and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted.” – Isaiah 62:12
April 27. 2014
Yesterday, my cup was overflowing. I was just so full of all things good. Things weren’t exactly going our way but we made the most of it. I want to swallow the ocean and dance on ten thousand more mountains. I was feeling Your presence and was so aware of your hand in this nation. I am absolutely, irrevocably in love with Haiti and I’mMe. I am so filled and full of joy and peace. I hope this feeling isn’t fleeting. You brought me here for a reason, and I know that these feelings are no just for here. They are to be spread every where I go.
To see what God is doing in Haiti and with I’mMe, check out their website Imme.org!