It is absolutely surreal being on LSU’s campus. I feel so blessed to be here, and I am just in awe of what God has done so far. The few days before coming to college were definitely a struggle filled with tears and a whole bunch of prayer.
August 20, 2013
I don’t understand God. I know you have called me to LSU, but why all the road blocks? I do believe that you are working. I honestly am feeling discouraged about this whole situation. There is absolutely no way to pay, but that is when you really show up and show out, right?
The day before move in day I was sitting at HCC crying my eyes out but ready to enroll into classes there. At that moment it was absolutely impossible for my mom to pay for my tuition. I was completely wrecked, and could not wrap my mind around why God seemed to shut the doors on LSU. I was having this little crisis of faith. I was praying and crying out to God wondering why He brought me so far just to leave me.
Sitting in that little room my mom suddenly told me that we were going home. I was a little confused, but a few days before my mom and I had to have some serious talks about money. I was distraught because I started to think that maybe God didn’t want me at LSU. I was ready to accept it, but I couldn’t understand why. I don’t know what changed my mother’s mind. I did tell her that I knew God wanted me to go to LSU. It sounded so lame when I said it to her at first. Because saying those words and then looking at the billing statement didn’t add up. But my mom had to believe that LSU was where I needed to be or I wouldn’t be here. That night we made a decision and LSU was a go, but we were flying on faith.
August 21, 2013
Lord I know your hand is in all of this. Everything keeps coming up as a road block, but I am still holding on to faith. You have the power to do exceedingly above and beyond all that I can imagine. This waiting is making me stronger and more appreciative of the privilege to go to LSU. I know you have me there for a specific purpose because the enemy is fighting so hard. I know it is done! It’s not over! Your blessings will come raining down more than I can imagine. You are my rock and I believe that I’m going through this to be strengthened. I will be on that campus tomorrow!
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” – Psalm 143:8
Long story short, God gave me starting grace. My tuition for the first quarter was paid and it was only by God’s grace and power. And the miracles haven’t stopped there! I got books for prices that are unheard of, and I got my biology book (the most expensive book I had to have) for free!
Through out those days leading up to move in day I was constantly writing. I wanted to make sure I was communicating every single thing I was feeling. I knew God was doing a work in me and in the future I would want to go back and read it. I am so glad I did! Those journal entries give me so much encouragement for all the days I lose sight of why I am here. Those days weren’t easy, but I appreciate them and in a way happy that I went through those trying times.
God is faithful. He hears those prayers, sees those tears, and provides for those needs that have to be met.