Lately

May 11, 2015

in the quiet, with clutched and achy hands, you dump out your burdened heart. the hurt, the confusion, the insecurity. you’ve needed this moment. be honest, you’ve needed this for a while now. it’s time to let it go. it’s time to decompress and just lay down for a while. you try to conceive what it would be like. maybe it will come like winter, with a bitter reality encased in a cold chill. or maybe it will come like summer, with a bright revelation wrapped in a warm glow. maybe, just maybe; it will come in the quiet. like the soft wind suspended between two seasons. waiting, anticipating the changes to come. you’ll listen intently for that voice. the voice your heart longs to hear. you’ll begin to pay close attention to the soft rustle of leaves and the quick snap of branches. but for now you wait. in the quiet, you wait with a steadfast hope. what are you waiting for? you’re not sure. maybe it’s reassurance. a word that speaks just to your soul and yours alone. or you wait for something tangible. something that takes you by the hand and leads you to what you’ve ached to fathom. you’ll wait. however long it takes, you’ll wait because you know that in the passage of the middle you are being refined. weeds lose their hold and seeds prepare to sprout life. you long to be truly satisfied in these quiet moments. you pine for peace and the realization that you want absolutely nothing, and have all that you need. you fill your lungs and trap the promise that you lack no good thing inside your chest. you’ll wait to bloom. you know you will. because you’ve weathered too many erratic storms, stilted winds, and wilted harvest to stop you now. you’ll wait with emptied hands and a light heart. you’ll wait for the voice your heart yearns to know; the voice that calls you home.

May 26, 2015

it’s comfortable. this life you lead. but it’s not enough. your comfort is safe and debilitating all at the same time. but there is only so much your soul can take. be honest with yourself, this is not what you wanted. you’ve compromised; something you said you’ll never do. but it’s not too late. it’s never to late when He’s here with you. He was there when your heart cracked open and birthed a strength you thought you lacked. He was there when the foxes prowled in your vineyard and attempted to steal your joy. He was there. patient, and steadfast in His love for you. this comfort isn’t so comfortable anymore, is it? it’s starting to chaff and leave your soul exposed. you’ve patched over it a few times. hoping that lies conceal and your secrets erase, but it doesn’t work that way. He’s the only balm for that patchwork soul of yours. still, you lack direction and courage to listen. it isn’t what you want to hear. to give it all up? but Jesus, isn’t that too much? still your heart beats for something greater. something fills you and calls you out of that comfort, into the unknown. it almost sounds like drums, the beat floods you from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. and you walk. you leave your comfort behind and walk into the call placed on your life. it’s daunting, but you know the drums beat out a rhythm of grace that guides your every step. your song of deliverance rings inside of you and overflows to those who have yet to hear of His goodness. you’re out of your comfort and in the hands of the ultimate Comforter. you have tasted His goodness and want for nothing. you sit and listen in His presence. His anointing sweeps over your body and you dance. free and unashamed, you dance to the beat, the song only meant for your heart to hear. you’ve pushed past comfort and reached a place where His love is naked before you. your comfort dimmed its light, but there’s no mistaking the love that shines in His eyes. eyes that blaze with passion, and acceptance. you realize now that comfort can be overrated. you’d much rather dance before the One who created you to do more. so much more.

Dance Before Me.

Condemnation. It’s been staring me down. Pushing me and waiting for me to crack under its oppression. I feel it when my thoughts wonder, and when I allow words to pierce my heart. It’s a horrible feeling staring at condemnation and having to make a conscious decision to believe the lie or spit in its face. When condemnation approached I fell into its waiting arms. I was ready to pout and wallow in my self-pity. I’m beginning to believe the lies that are being whispered in my ear, and allowing my soul to be drenched in the mistakes of my past. I feel consumed and overwhelmed by it all.

It’s crazy how the enemy is so quick to throw my past mistakes in my face. He tends to bring up things that I’ve already submitted to God. Things that I don’t struggle with any more, but if I let my guard down for a second; I’m caught. He’s crazy. But you know what’s even crazier? Is that recently I found myself believing the lies and accepting the condemnation thinking I actually deserve it. It’s twisted, but that’s how the enemy operates.

However, I have a loving Jesus who sees it all and UNDERSTANDS what I am feeling. In Hebrews it says that we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who isn’t able to sympathize with us because even though Jesus was fully God; He was also fully human. He’s just been reminding me that He knows how I feel. He probably knows more about what I’m actually feeling because half the time I’m just a jumble of emotions and feelings.

He deals with my condemnation the second I give those feelings to Him. I can hear Him clearly countering every lie from the pit of hell with His truth. He tells me that I have been bought with a price. My sin has been paid in full. He loves me, and has covered my sin. I am forgiven, and being made new every second, every minute of the day. The skeletons of my past are out in the open, but He has breathed new life into them and transformed them for His glory!

My past or mistakes don’t have me in bondage like they did before. I have to consistently remind myself to keep my guard up and counter the lies with Truth. I have been forgiven and the yoke of my past is off my shoulders. God not only took my sin, but He made it new. He transformed it not only for my salvation, but so that He gets maximum glory in it all. The things that He has pulled me out of is just a testament of His unending grace and unfailing love.

My sin doesn’t control me. It dances before me. Dancing to the song of forgiveness and redemption.

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“…And then there was God, who’d caused even the dry bones to dance before me.” -Marilynn Griffith