Calling Me Home.

A lot has happened since the last blog post. A lot.

At first, it was overwhelming and a bit hard to accept. I know God is at work, and I’m fully trusting in His goodness.

I’ll begin with; I’m not going back to LSU. God has made it perfectly clear that home is where I need to be at this moment. I don’t know why, but it all goes back to trusting Him. So now that I am home, not even currently enrolled in another school I find myself staring at my bedroom ceiling asking God, “Now what?” No joke.

At the beginning of the year I had laid out all the plans and things I would do at LSU. I mean I had a whole list, almost set in stone. However, God had other plans. He gently corrected me, and made me realize that no matter how great my intentions were about LSU; I was still stepping out of His will for my life. I realized that me and my “don’t-take-no-as-an-answer” attitude was stopping me from fully submitting to God’s will. I wasn’t trusting Him fully with my life because I was clinging to LSU like it was the only good thing that God was doing for me.  He dealt with me for real one night though. I was sprawled out on my bathroom floor having to surrender that part of my life literally saying, “it is well even if You take LSU.” It was hard. I cried a lot.  For days.

But God is good. I’m not going to LSU, but now I’m beginning to see all the things He has in store for me. So as I sit here with my list in shreds, but my heart filled with joy. I know I’m not about to make the same mistake twice and try to write a new list without including God, and not having Him be the center of it.  I have an outline of things, but now I know that can change at any second. He’s really keeping me on my toes, and I like it.

I am being called home this season. Not out of some punishment for not surrendering to His will, but out of love. He loved me enough to turn me around to not miss the blessings He has been so eagerly waiting to pour out on my life!

This is me, Bayli Tiara Hill, having fully surrendered my whole life to God. I understand that God will never leave me or forsake me. He has promised me that this is my year of double portion, and that I should ask for favor while favor is falling. I promise to abide in His will for my life, and continue to believe in the words He has spoken over me.

Lord, I’m ready. I trust You.

Isaiah 30:18 (AMP)

And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you AND show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (fortunate, happy, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect AND look AND long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!

Stay posted. There’s a lot of new things that will be sprouting up in my life, and I can’t wait to share!  

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The Year of the Lord’s Favor.

Warning:

First, this post is a bit long. Second, this post is me being super vulnerable. At first I fought writing this tooth and nail, but God must want someone to read this. If you are reading this I encourage you to read it through Jesus’ eyes. No judgement. No condemnation. We have all walked through the darkness, but Jesus  has caught us up in His grace. 

I feel it in my heart to make some things known about myself.  I know it will allow me to truly experience freedom, but I pray some one else will take these words to heart and understand that freedom can be found.

This whole semester has been a semester of God just weeding things out my life. I’m not talking small weeds either. Weeds that have gotten tangled in my roots. These weeds were deep and slowly choking the life out of me. It wasn’t pretty. The process left me bare and cold because somehow I had gotten comfortable with these weeds in my life. Going through the process of removal wasn’t beautiful. It was messy, filthy, and vile.

About two years ago, I fell into the trap of pornography and masturbation. My life was a mess. Things began to get chaotic and confusing.  See, I had a relationship with Jesus, but I was having an affair with this sin. I was bound to it. It had my heart in a vice and no matter how many times I asked God to forgive me, swearing to never do it again; I always found myself doing it all over again. 

I entered college with this burden. Having prayer nights but still struggling with this sin. It’s crazy how God still used me in my brokeness. He still gave me words to pray over my friends, and I could always taste the freedom that I could experience if I truly let go of this burden. Soon, I realized that it was time to get real with myself. I was struggling, and God was gently coaxing me out but I was still determined to be dragged down. I finally gathered some courage to tell my closest friends. It was a late night at Raising Cane’s, and with my heart beating fast and sweaty hands; I told them I was struggling with masturbation. I kid you not, in an instant, it was like I was finally able to take a deep breath. I could breathe again. I got the most loving response from them all, and I realized that’s why God has placed them in my life.

I would be lying if I said right then and there I stopped. I didn’t, but I started to see the escape routes that God was giving me. With each passing time I was tempted I began to see those ways more clearly. It wasn’t until the day after Christmas I realized the last chain had dropped from my life. The weed that was clinging for dear life on my heart; God had effectively removed it. It left me crying because it was painful, and I was confronted with my less that perfect-ness.

But God is merciful. He dealt with me so tenderly that night. Loving me like no other could. I had a meeting with my Savior. I was  ready to be rid of my sin for good, and whatever it took I was willing. God didn’t strike me down. He covered me with His grace. I know I still have to deal with the consequences, like the loss of my innocence and some pictures seem like they can’t be erased from a mind. However, God’s grace will still abound.

But that wasn’t all. I also had to face the issues I had with my dad. I was angry at my dad for the things he had done and things I thought he should have done. In my mind I wanted him to hurt as much as he hurt me. I held on to this for years. A few weeks before I came home I was confronted with all the anger I had built up, and I finally told my dad how I felt. Finally, I was able to hear his side of things. Things aren’t perfect now, but I know that I also have to make a conscious effort to mend our relationship.

He also dealt with other things. Moments in my life that had me waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats. Thoughts that held me back from trying new things. Grudges I had against certain people in my past. He dealt with it all.

Restitution.

I learned this word from Lena. She is the sweetest woman who has invested into me, Oyinda, Megan, and Maddie. She told us that restitution is more than just restoration. Restoration is when whatever was taken is given back and it’s leveled out. However, restitution is when everything is given back, but double portion. Restitution means God wins.  No matter how much was taken God will give it back to me double portion. Every area of my life that the enemy has stolen from will not only be restored, but will be covered in a double blessing.

I cling to that because God didn’t intend for me to go through all of those crappy things, and it’s not like I’m going to stop walking into bad situations either. But we serve a God who makes ALL things new. He turns our ashes into beauty, our mourning into laughing, our shattered innocence into purity.

As  I launch into the new year, I am declaring that 2014 will be my year of double portion. I declare right now that my relationships from here on out will be doubly blessed. My health will be doubly blessed. My finances will be doubly blessed. My family will be doubly blessed. My life will be doubly blessed. God is a God of restitution and I rest in that. He will not only restore, but will pour out a double blessing over me.

So in the last few hours of 2013 let God tend to the garden in your heart. I can’t promise you it won’t hurt. Truthfully, it’s not like I don’t get tempted anymore, but I now see that there is always a way out. Please know that in this process: tears will be shed, confessions will pour out, and some things will sting. But it’s oh so worth it. God wants you to be set free right now. He sent Jesus down here to die for ALL of your sins. The dirty, disgusting things that you do in the dark have not gone unnoticed. He’s saying, “give it to Me, let Me set you free.”

Revelation 1:5

To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood. 

I also encourage you to read Isaiah 61. Revel in the promises that God has spoken, and know in your heart that He is faithful to complete them.

God sings over me and you. His rhythm is perfected to match every little detail of our lives. He has orchestrated and he directs every note that has to be played out in our lives. He isn’t surprised by all of our mess because His rhythms are matchless. Nothing compares to the song He plays over us. He has composed each of our songs before the day we were born with all the loving kindness He possesses. May our feet continue to dance to the melody that He so tenderly created. May our hands clap to the beat of our life songs. May our lives and voices add lyrics of praise at His majesty. His grace is never forced. It is given freely. Since we have chosen Him and He is ours, He will sing over us unceasingly. A song of peace, freedom, grace, and wisdom. The song He sings over each one of our lives will be the only song that will be a balm to our tattered souls. So let Him carry you, let Him whisk you away along the ebbs and swells of your life song. Because NOTHING can take away the unforced rhythms of His grace.

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Selah. 

Coming Home.

First day home and I’m already on the floor crying.

Why?

I have no earthly idea.

I have so many excuses for my sudden outburst. Maybe I just wanted to sleep, and my brothers kept asking me questions. Maybe it’s that my mom wanted me to do dishes and I haven’t even used any. Maybe I realized all my friends are so far away and I conveniently dropped my phone in a toilet.

All of these lame excuses and reasons for feeling bad for myself, but didn’t I already know that things weren’t going to be peachy coming home? Haven’t I been preparing my heart for this? Praying for patience and thinking of ways just to serve my family. What happened, Jesus? I thought I was ready!

The seven hours I been home have already made me lose my nerve, and forget all the things that I have learned over the semester.  If I’m completely honest I was a complete wimp. In my mind I knew it was the enemy, but I all to readily fell into the trap. I not only made a complete fool of myself, but also made it seem that I didn’t even want to be home which I know hurt my family. I knew that this time home was when I was to really apply what God had taught me, and I failed. Epicly.

Then Jesus came.

I can’t even tell you all that He did, but somehow I found myself willing facing my family. I apologized to my mom who probably thought I had some weird psychotic episode (it was bad, y’all) and I told my brothers I would take them to school in the morning. I felt better and finally stopped crying. When I actually sat down to reflect on all that happened it all became clear. That I was/ am completely selfish, and the moment I discerned it was the enemy I should have just walked away from the situation.

I also realized that I was scared coming home. I had this irrational fear that I wouldn’t encounter Jesus the way the I encountered Him at LSU. I realize now that I had it all wrong. Jesus is with me constantly. He was there in the kitchen watching me throw a fit and pour out my anger on my family. He was there in the restroom that I locked myself in and ugly cried for a solid hour. He was there when I stood at my mom’s door for five minutes trying to muster up the courage to knock and apologize. He is here now giving me words to write this post.

I am not alone. I AM NOT ALONE.

Coming home, I believe will be when God will show me new aspects of Himself. He will continue to mold me and gently correct me like He did today. I will go back to LSU with an even deeper faith, and have an amazing testimony to tell my friends. I will encounter Him more than I did this past semester. Coming home for me is my time to really put things into practice. It’s time I take quiet time seriously. I need to start putting the list of ways I can serve my family to use. I’m not gonna sit and waste this break. This is God’s time to continue the work that He has already started in me.

Today was definitely a bumpy start and I’m sure this isn’t the last bump in the road. It would be a miracle if it was…But I know that God won’t give up on me that easily, and He will continue to discipline me while loving me all at the same time.

So I thank God for days like this. Where I go from crying in self-pity to standing in awe of the transformation He has done in my heart.

Thank You.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Also, I’m still not understanding why my phone isn’t working, Jesus. I mean, I know I was getting a little attached to SnapChat. But can my phone please work now? I have learned my lesson! Forreal, though.

Just in time for Thanksgiving.

Well, I’ve meant to write this post for a while and since Thanksgiving is in a few minutes…it’s perfect!

I just wanted to list some of the things that I’ve just been so thankful for this past year and semester at LSU. I have a bunch but I gave myself a limit of 19; since I’m 19 and all.

19.  Warm, soft, fluffy things.

With the weather getting all cold and stuff; I am more than happy to pull out all of my scarves, socks, hats, and bulky sweaters.

18. Peppermint.

I have this thing for all things peppermint-y. I’m a sucker for peppermint tea, and I put mint in just about anything. Go get some peppermint hot chocolate from Starbucks and your world will never be the same!

17. Hot Bubble Baths.

I have definitely taken the luxury of a bath for granted all these years. Since I’ve been in college, and have been completely stripped away from baths; all I want to do when I get home is sit in my bathtub. I know I have some emotional connection to my bathtub, but don’t judge. Some people just ain’t about that college shower life…

16. YouTube, Netflix, and Hulu Plus.

Thank God for these wonderful video players. Now I will never miss an episode of Scandal, I can watch all my Touched by an Angel episodes, and I have the privilege to spend hours watching pointless videos that distract me from the important things in life.

15. My Childhood.

I revel in my childhood memories. The good, the bad, the ugly. I love them all. Moments like hiding books and sugar packets under my pillow or picking my switches from the tree; those days have molded me into who I am today. I would never change a thing.

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14. Musical Movies.

I have this thing for movies that have songs that I can sing along to. Hairspray, Prince of Egypt, Sound of Music, Disney Princess Movies, and Anastasia are a few of my favorites. “these are a few of my favorite things…”  See, like that!

13. Books.

I have a healthy/ unhealthy attachment to books. The healthy attachment is that I love to read, and I tear through so many books it’s ridiculous. The unhealthy attachment is the fact that I will buy 7 more books when I haven’t even finished the last 2 I bought the day before, and if somebody tried to touch or sell my books I would rip them a new one.

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12. Journals.

I pour my heart out when I write in my journal. I appreciate all the journals I have because I am able to see how far that I have come. I love to go back and read my journal from elementary when I had a crush on William Moseley. Those were not easy times, okay… No Judging.

11. LSU.

I go to the greatest school on the planet. All you other schools just need to go sit down somewhere. Say it with me: Geaux Tigers!

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10. Christmas Music.

Listen to: Dave Barnes – Very Merry Christmas. Matt Wertz – Snow Globe. Nat King Cole – you should already know… Boyz ll Men – Christmas Interpretations. Go, click those links, and let your souls be drowned in all the wonderful Christmas music.

9. Hard Times.

As I’m getting older I am starting to really understand why some things can’t always be easy. Going through hard times and sometimes hurting seems to makes it all worth it in the end.

8. Spontaneous Worship.

Worship. I just love it. My soul sings, and I just come alive when I worship. I love when it isn’t planned and it isn’t rigid or stiff. It’s always raw, real, and refreshing. And it ALWAYS, without fail, leaves me breathless. I will spend all of my days worshiping my Creator.

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7. Africa.

Like I posted in Instagram a while ago. “I miss Kenya. I miss the simplicity. I miss the people and their welcoming nature. I miss Manuel, Jeremy, Emmy, Patrick, Grandma, and Annette. I even miss Georgiana! I miss church, and the 5am prayers. Take me back.”

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6. Lakewood Church.

Where would I be without Lakewood in my life? Lakewood will always be the church that God put in my life to be a lifeline to pull me through all the mess I was dealing with. I rededicated my life to Christ, encountered Jesus, and was bathed in the Holy Spirit at Lakewood. I am forever grateful for all that I experienced there.

5. Antioch Community Church: Baton Rouge.

What a community! I am completely blown away at how much I have grown these past few months. I am challenged to live my life radically and truly live out what the Bible says. I am so captivated by God’s presence at Antioch; I can’t help but be thankful for the opportunity to be a part of what God is doing in His church.

4. Maddie, Oyinda, and Megan (Cheetah Girls/Double Stuffed Oreo).

I am constantly inspired, encouraged, and challenged by how these girls live so wholeheartedly for what they believe in. They strive to make everything they do pleasing to the Lord. I am thankful for Maddie’s “sugar sweet and intuitive” soul, Oyinda’s “prayer warrior” spirit, and Megan’s “tell it like it is” attitude. God knew what He was doing when He brought us all together.We are force to be reckoned with. Watch out world!

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3. Friendship.

I am the luckiest girl alive to be surrounded by a community of people who I can just do life with. I have the most honest, genuine friendships. God must really love me because He has granted me with friends I know will be in my life for a long, long time.

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2. Family.

I can go on an on about how awesome my family is. We are not average. We are messy and chaotic. Loud and spontaneous. Passionate and supportive. Goofy and silly. We are all of these and so much more, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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1. Jesus.

I think y’all already knew this one was coming…

Jesus. My Savior.My Friend. My Foundation. My Creator. My Hiding Place. My Everything. My soul sings at His goodness. My spirit rejoices at His faithfulness. My feet dance because of the joy that He has bestowed upon me.

I am forever in awe and grateful for the wonderful gift of His grace and love that He so freely pours out over my life.

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Selah. 

Last Night.

There aren’t enough words in the universe to describe what happened last night. To give you the best glimpse I humanly can of what happened last night I will basically be writing out what I wrote in my journal.

I hope you read this and are encouraged and inspired. God is real and He is here.

October 28, 2013

Tonight. I don’t think words can accurately portray what happened tonight. I know I want to blog about it, but I want to see if Oyinda, Maddie, and Megan would be cool with me using their names. 

It started off as nothing really. Oyinda and I were walking out of her dorm and came across Megan’s car where Maddie and Megan were still talking. We kind of just squeezed ourselves into her car when we saw Maddie crying. Maddie just began sharing her heart. She explained how God has used her, but it hasn’t been easy. Then Oyinda opened up about how the Lord has used her, and what God has shown her about her father. I opened up after and just talked about the insecurity that plagued my life. We then kind of made this deal to just guard what we say and how much time we spend talking about marriage, and just making sure we’re not idolizing marriage the way we had been. 

After our little agreement, we started hashing out other feelings that we have felt. The next moment, Megan said we needed to pray. Like now. She started us off, praying for the school and that the God would just light a fire in our hearts to spread the Word. Maddie prayed for the ability to find our identity in Christ and strength to get through our present struggles. Oyinda prayed for the covering of all of our pasts hurts, and for the gift of forgiveness to those who had hurt us. 

Throughout this whole prayer time there was a shifting that was happening. I don’t know how to accurately describe it but the atmosphere was changing. When it came my turn to pray I knew the Holy Spirit had descended down into that car. I tried to start praying. I was honestly trying to find some eloquent words that I could drum up, but the Holy Spirit just took over. Then it began to pour out. 

I looked at Maddie, and the prayer just took a life of its own. I can’t remember all the words that were said, but I knew it hit where it needed to. Suddenly, Oyinda was then given a vision of Maddie in the future. It was beautiful. Then without warning Oyinda and I were speaking in our prayer language. For a solid hour we prayed, sang, laughed, cried all at once. 

Just snippets of what happened in that hour:

I remember just words spilling out of my mouth for Megan. That her heart would be restored. That her tears and pain are not in vain. Her heart would know what is right and what is wrong. She would have discernment, and she would be anointed to do all the God has set for her to do. Maddie I remember just praying for healing of all the broken places. That she will be confident in knowing that God has a perfect plan for her. She is precious to him. Oyinda I just burst into tears when I saw her crying out to God. Somehow I got a glimpse of her struggle, and I felt her pain. I just remember that freedom was declared over her life, and the enemy had been rebuked. We all declared complete freedom in all of our lives, and that we would walk out of that car new women of God!

The purest form of joy had settled on all of us after that. We laughed and were in utter shock of what had just happened. I hadn’t felt that way was since Canvas camp when I rededicated my life. It was magical.  Freedom. We have been set free from all strongholds. After we prayed and recovered from the shock of it all we began to worship. We got out of the car and unashamedly worshiped and danced for our Savior. As this beautiful time came to close we all had to part ways, but right when Megan was about to leave; her car broke down! We called some amazing friends who came and jumped her car, but  at that point a broken down car wasn’t about to discourage us!

Lord, You are so good!  I don’t think I can say that enough. The fact that you used me blows my mind. I am confident in knowing that I am here for a reason. I am good enough. The Holy Spirit resides in all of our hearts! The enemy has no place here, for this place is Holy Ground. 

I honestly was afraid to write everything that happened because of fear that some things could be taken the wrong way. But I realize now that the Holy Spirit moves in ways that we can’t even began to understand.

Last night was truly mind-blowing. Spiritual gifts were revealed, strongholds were broken, freedom was found, and hearts were restored. I hope anyone who reads this is encouraged. I hope you see a glimpse of the goodness of God, and realize that it the Holy Spirit falls freely on those who believe.

A huge thank you to all my lovely friends! Megan, Maddie, and Oyinda. Y’all have been such an inspiration to me, and I’m so thankful for the friendship that we have. I love how we can be completely honest and vulnerable with each other. I am glad we get to do life together and I get to see what God is doing in each of you. I love y’all!

Fried Chicken and Waffles.

Community.

This is something that I have literally been thrust into the last few months here at LSU, and it has been absolutely wonderful. And to think it all started with chicken and waffles.

My prayer before stepping on LSU’s campus was that I would find a church home quickly, and meet people who were truly passionate about God. I told myself I refused to lose sight of why God had me at LSU. I was researching churches, stalking church Instagrams, and asking people about the churches they had attended while going to LSU. I was a little nervous because I knew that I would have to step out of my comfort zone I had created in Lakewood. My second week on campus I saw on Instagram flyer for free chicken and waffles; and y’all already know I was there with bells on! This is when the world-wind began. I talked to one girl who said she would give me a ride, met the praise and worship leader who just poured out his passion for music, and then ended up meeting the college pastor who was so excited to just welcome everyone in. I was absolutely blown away by everyone’s hearts and I felt so free just to tell them what I was looking for in a church. Nothing has been the same since that night. I have now found a church and I am just so grateful for God’s amazing way of answering prayers.

My church home in Baton Rouge is called Antioch Community Church. Antioch is so completely different from Lakewood, but somehow they are similar. And it’s only because the Spirit of God resides in both. After my first service at Antioch I knew I was there to stay because I felt the same way I felt when I was at Lakewood. The difference in numbers between the churches means nothing when you know that the Lord is moving in both. It’s funny; when I was there I knew for sure God is doing something at Antioch, and I knew I had to be apart of it.

Life-group. Oh man, life-group. I have so many words to say and to type but nothing can quite explain the beauty of the way God has used life-group to impact my life. I have felt so loved and cared for by these people it’s insane. I’m like smothered in love, but in a good way. The hearts and passion for Jesus the people in my life-group have inspired me. I knew that it was where I needed to be when I boo-hoo cried in front of all of them. I was horribly embarrassed, but God used them to show me that He hears my prayers and I’m not alone at LSU. Each and every one of them have become my dearest friends. I have found freedom in this community.

I also have to just give y’all a glimpse of how God is moving on this campus.

Last night, after a long night of studying (not really); my friends and I went out to eat and just hang out. At 1am, we were just talking and sharing about our churches back home and just things that God has done in our lives. And without any warning, no special invitation, the Holy Spirit showed up. We just got into this atmosphere of prayer. We prayed for the unsaved people in my dorm, for our families, for our anxieties, for our church, for more diversity in our church, and just for God to do some radical stuff on LSU’s campus. After the prayer we were just in shock, and couldn’t believe what happened. Those prayers didn’t come from us. It was literally the Holy Spirit speaking through us all. By that time it was 2am and we were absolutely pumped and didn’t want to part ways.

This is what I jotted down after I slipped into my dorm at 2am:

October 15, 2013

Tonight was so powerful! The Lord is moving. The fact that we prayed to 2 am just sharing about God and church. And THAT PRAYER! God is shaking up some stuff and stirring the hearts of His servants. We have seen the glory of God and we are not ashamed to proclaim His name! This community has invested so much into me. I feel so blessed and loved by everyone. Accepted. There is a freedom here that is also at Lakewood, that just draws you in. I see how God is moving. The church is bursting at its seams. Hearts are on fire and ready to learn more about Jesus. The hunger for You is so prevalent and real.

Getting to LSU.

It is absolutely surreal being on LSU’s campus. I feel so blessed to be here, and I am just in awe of what God has done so far. The few days before coming to college were definitely a struggle filled with tears and a whole bunch of prayer.

August 20, 2013

I don’t understand God. I know you have called me to LSU, but why all the road blocks? I do believe that you are working. I honestly am feeling discouraged about this whole situation. There is absolutely no way to pay, but that is when you really show up and show out, right?

The day before move in day I was sitting at HCC crying my eyes out but ready to enroll into classes there. At that moment it was absolutely impossible for my mom to pay for my tuition. I was completely wrecked, and could not wrap my mind around why God seemed to shut the doors on LSU. I was having this little crisis of faith. I was praying and crying out to God wondering why He brought me so far just to leave me.

Sitting in that little room my mom suddenly told me that we were going home. I was a little confused, but a few days before my mom and I had to have some serious talks about money. I was distraught because I started to think that maybe God didn’t want me at LSU. I was ready to accept it, but I couldn’t understand why. I don’t know what changed my mother’s mind. I did tell her that I knew God wanted me to go to LSU. It sounded so lame when I said it to her at first. Because saying those words and then looking at the billing statement didn’t add up. But my mom had to believe that LSU was where I needed to be or I wouldn’t be here. That night we made a decision and LSU was a go, but we were flying on faith.

August 21, 2013

Lord I know your hand is in all of this. Everything keeps coming up as a road block, but I am still holding on to faith. You have the power to do exceedingly above and beyond all that I can imagine. This waiting is making me stronger and more appreciative of the privilege to go to LSU. I know you have me there for a specific purpose because the enemy is fighting so hard. I know it is done! It’s not over! Your blessings will come raining down more than I can imagine. You are my rock and I believe that I’m going through this to be strengthened. I will be on that campus tomorrow! 

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” – Psalm 143:8

Long story short, God gave me starting grace. My tuition for the first quarter was paid and it was only by God’s grace and power. And the miracles haven’t stopped there! I got books for prices that are unheard of, and I got my biology book (the most expensive book I had to have) for free!

Through out those days leading up to move in day I was constantly writing. I wanted to make sure I was communicating every single thing I was feeling. I knew God was doing a work in me and in the future I would want to go back and read it. I am so glad I did! Those journal entries give me so much encouragement for all the days I lose sight of why I am here. Those days weren’t easy, but I appreciate them and in a way happy that I went through those trying times.

God is faithful. He hears those prayers, sees those tears, and provides for those needs that have to be met.